Break
by nevergoback
Summary: But five years ago, he somehow gifted, blessed, whatever the right name was, a full package. His soon-to-be-wife, the brothers he never had, a comfortable home - what would he do without them?
1. Home

His erratic breathing reminded him of how low his energy left. He was in his 40s for God's sake, and he did just running from his loft to their home. He swore he could see the stars flying around him already. He really was about to faint.

Everything blurred as he kept running. Probably wasn't just from the exhaustion – but the stress he had. His Kate was at home. His, somehow, dysfunctional family –all of his best friends –they were all at home.

He was popular. He had friends, hell, he had fans. But they were all together for his writing. For business. For his money.

But five years ago, he somehow gifted, blessed, whatever the right name was, a full package. His soon-to-be-wife, the brothers he never had, a comfortable home - What would he do without them?

Two blocks away.

He kept running. He was already at the parking lot when his home exploded. It was thankfully a normal explosion – but big enough to made his balance unstable.

He was still running.

He screamed her name so loud that he could still hear his own voice despite the explosion.

_There was another explosion?_

He didn't care. He tried to went inside, but then he felt something sharp gone through his leg. Probably some material that was blown up. He grimaced, but he kept moving.

He wasn't running anymore. He wasn't that far to his Kate.

Another explosion. It sounded like a thunder blasted right in front of him.

"Shit," he muttered under his shaky breath. He was a writer. He knew there was a thing called luck – he knew. But three times lucky?! Was he kidding himself?!

He stopped running and then searched for his phone.  
He had to use his special relationship with the mayor. Because no – he couldn't lose her, not this way.

_1-3-5._

Please.

Please.

"With Alex Rud-"

A small hope rose on him – maybe they weren't too late after all – maybe he could still saw his Kate breathing. This Alex guy was a good friend of him. He was Bob's personal bodyguard.

"Richard Castle on the line. Can you connect me to the mayor?"

"Mr. Castle! How are you? The mayor isn't here right now."

_Shit._

"Alex, please." He wiped the tears that were falling from his eyes.

_Oh, he was crying?_

"He's in a very secured meeting with someone we couldn't name who. Is everything alright?!"

_Is everything alright? How could he ask something like that when his Kate is probably not breathing right now?_

"Do you have no TV at where you at?!" His voice was one and a half octave than he wanted it to be. He took another breath to calm himself.

"Look, Alex, I'm sorry, ok. The 12th has been bombed…" he tried to remember everything, "…three times. Detective Beckett and her team were all in there. Please send someone. Please. Please-"

There was a break.

"Alex-"

"Mr. Castle, helps are on their way but you need to be patient, the medical team and the FBI are coming. Are you hurt?"

"The FBI?"

He didn't need another outsider. Anyway, why no cops? FBI didn't help much when Alexis got kidnapped – they didn't try as hard as the cops.

"Listen, your precinct isn't the only one who has been bombed. We're out of help. We need them."

* * *

Soooo I don't know if this actually make senses. I was just trying to write something new. Should I continue? No? Opinions would be appreciated. (English isn't my mother-language)


	2. Burning

"_Listen, your precinct isn't the only one who has been bombed. We're out of help. We need them."  
_  
Not the only one? How?

He checked his watch, hoping that he was wrong about all of this. About losing his family. If it was 12am – then there was a chance their family was at lunch, somewhere safe, but it was – it was 1.15pm.

_Damn it._

The image of his Kate, his strong, beautiful, fierce Kate slumped lifeless – nothing ever hurt so much to him since they kidnap Alexis.

But no, he wouldn't give up. For her, for him, for his daughter who was just getting attached to her, and for their family.

Because he would never give up on life, and she was his life.

Castle was really bummed that she didn't listen to him. How many times he had to remind her of how precious and important she was to him? Why didn't she listen to him and the reasons why he didn't let her go _home_?

He was done trying to convince her after she started to say that they weren't even officially married yet and he already tried to control her. So he let her go. Praying that whatever she tried to do, God agreed with her and protected her.

Because he couldn't handle losing her.

"Mr. Castle, are you hurt?"

_Huh?_

"No. No, I'm not. But I'm pretty sure people in there are. Just send the help ASAP. I need to go inside."

"Mr. Castle, you need to stay-"

Castle disconnected him.

He stepped at the building. The building that was his home, his comfort, had been blown.

Karpowski was the very first one he saw. Castle knelt over her to check on her pulse, but there was nothing. He shook her body, swallowing tears. If this happened to Kate too – then he was done. What was he living for, anyway, if it wasn't her and Alexis?  
After trying for what it felt like the 100th times, he did a thing he'd never do on her Kate – giving up. So Castle took Karpowski's gun, and then took it with him. Just in case.

He continued trying to find his team.

"KATE!"

He coughed from the smoke filling his lungs.

"RYAN! ESPOSITO!"

He slowly jumped through a big material that was still burning from the explosion in front of him. His leg hurt like hell, but he didn't care anymore. As long as his Kate is still fighting and waiting for him to rescue him.

The emergency stairs wasn't that far from him. His family was supposed to be downstairs in this exact moment – he meant – the break was just over, right? They still had a chance.

That was when he heard moves. His eyes travelled the whole room.

"BECKETT?! KATE?!"

"Castle," someone breathed his name.

"KATE?!"

Please let it be Kate. Please let it be her.

" 's Ryan…..over..here…"

"Ryan, where are you?!" He waited for a second before a sound of something hard dropped. He was smart enough that it was a sign from Ryan.

Ryan was near the elevator. His hand was gripping something that looked like a phone to Castle, and he gripped it tight. Very tight. When he tried to approach Ryan, someone grabbed one of his leg.

"Help."

He looked down to find someone he didn't know who – but he met this guy almost everyday.

Castle studied his body for a pretty long time. No significant damage, only a few bruises. This guy could wait.

"They're on the way. Just hold on, ok?"  
He earned a nod from the guy, and it comforted Castle somehow, because there was still hope for his fiancée.

_I'm going to find her alive, and that's final._

He nodded to his own positive-thinking.

He heard another loud thing.

What was that -

oh. Ryan. Ryan.

Castle approached him quickly. His head was bleeding. He didn't know exactly from what, but Ryan had never seen so much weak to him than he was. He was ghostly pale, Castle could tell he was having a hard time to open his eyes.

Castle knelt down and sat Ryan up.

"How are you, bud?"

"Jenny…. tell Jenny and my child I love them…tell them, Castle. Tell..tell them." Said Ryan with all his strength left.

"No. No you don't get to say that, at least not until you're old and gray, yeah, bro? Jenny needs you. Do you hear me? Jenny. Needs. You. Jenny and her baby inside her. They need you. You have to hold on for them, do you understand?" Castle gave him a small pat on Ryan's back. When he got Ryan nodded, Castle stood up. "Wait here, ok? I'm gonna find Kate and Javi. You stay here."

"I saw her, Castle." Ryan hissed from the pain.

"She wasn't far from us. She was still alive…still alive at the second explosion. S – something got through her skin at the first explosion. She was-" his voice wavering, "-bleeding so much, Castle. She was bleeding so much – I don't think it was from the bomb."

Castle was about to ask where Ryan's opinion came from when he answered his unspoken question.

"I heard two gunshots. You need to find her, Castle. For – for me. For Javi and I – you have to find her. She was so scared."

* * *

Thank you for the reviews, favorites, and follows! Anyway, I've been told a thousand times that I rarely wrote realistic stories, and here I am, giving another unrealistic story for you. Honest reviews would be nice!


	3. Hope

There were days when all he wanted was just being with her, doing nothing, just be with her. To hold her in his big arms, to keep her safe, to keep her from the world that never stop trying to hurt her, physically and emotionally.

Those countable days always ended the same. Her sleeping peacefully and he watched her for what felt like more than an hour.

Because she was just so beautiful - and the scene was beautiful too - most of the time when he didn't hold her she'd woke up in the middle of the night, gasping for air because she was shot in her dream, or it was him who got hit. He would notice minutes before, because she kicked, tossed their blanket, or sobbed before she woke up and honestly, he was grateful for the signs.

If he didn't woke up to calm her, she would end up having panic attack and it would be so hard to get her back to sleep. He'd have to tell her stories until she finally has the nerve to go back to sleep, and not that he minded telling her stories - it made his heart clenched every time he had to.

Emotionally, she wasn't fully healed. Everyone, especially him, knew it.

And he prayed. He prayed to God, that someday she'd find peace and happiness. That someday the world will let her rest.

_That someday isn't today._

He heard ambulance's sirens coming, and never in his life had he thought sirens would be so beautiful to hear.

But he needed to find Kate first before the medical team take over. Before they sent him away.

"KATE!" He started to yell again as his eyes looked down to the floor, trying to find familiar faces.

He didn't found any but the unknown guy and Ryan so far, just people lying unconscious everywhere.

He made time to check everyone's pulse, some of them had it, some of them weren't anymore.

Gunshots.

Ryan heard gunshots. He just realized that maybe anyone who shot it still here.

_Oh. _

_Karpowski's gun._

He now had a gun with him.

_Come to me, loser. I'm ready._

* * *

He suddenly had a feeling she wasn't far from him. Call it intuition, call it imagination, call him crazy, but he had this electric feeling whenever she was around him. So yes, she was definitely around him.

He looked around him, and found her under the table a meter away from him. There was a pool of blood, his stomach clenched at the view.

_Please let her be alive._

He wasn't sure if she was conscious; because her eyelids were half closed and were holding for tears, her left hand was pressing her right shoulder. She was shaking and pale. Her face crumbled like was holding tears (or it was pain?), and it made his heart clenched.

_She was still trying to be strong despite all of this?_

She was so small curled up on the floor, defenseless, but she was breathing.

And alive.

His Kate was still alive.

"Kate, do you hear me?"

She was shutting her eyes from the world, he could tell that.

"Kate, it's Castle. It's Rick. Open your eyes, honey. It's okay."

He knew she was going to kill him for calling her 'honey' when she got better, but he won't mind at all.

She refused to open her eyes, but she let out a whimper.

"Ca..Castle?"

Her voice was thin, she sounded so fragile, so vulnerable, and he really tried his best not to cry.

Castle sat beside her; not minding the bloods stained his clothes.

"Yes, Kate, it's Castle." He saw a faint smile crept on her face.

" 's really you," murmured Kate that made him want to laugh. "Of course it's really me."

His smile faded when he saw another tears. "Kate, I will lay you down on my lap, okay?" He put a hand on her left shoulder. He saw her nod slightly, but squeezing her eyes, probably from the pain she felt.

"Ok, I will move you in three," he circled an arm on her neck, "two," he felt an attempt to move from her body, "one," they finally did it.

"You did good, Kate. The medical team will come soon, ok? Just hold on."

She didn't response. He noticed her left hand was getting tired of pressing her gunshot wound.

He quietly removed her left hand from her wound; tears leaked from her eyes as he did it, and then replaced it with his hand.

"Hurts," she cried. Every tear felt like a failure for him. She was so precious, she was his, she was supposed to protect her, but he failed, _he failed -_

another whimper distracted him from his complicated mind.

"I know, Kate. But soon it will be over, and you'll be alright." He cupped her cheeks with his free hand and kissed her forehead. He watched another tear fell as she struggled to speak.

He sighed. "What, Kate? What can I do for you?"

But she didn't understand, and asked something he couldn't answer instead.

"Is it over?" Her voice was almost inaudible.

He wanted to lie, he wanted to assure her that everything was over, that she was safe, but he just hadn't had the gut to lie to her. Not when she was hurting.

"I don't know, Kate. I wish I can tell you. But you'll be alright, I will never let them hurt you again."

She shook her head again, refusing help or maybe she was just too tired to speak. He sighed.

"I love you, Kate." The words came out from nowhere. He just had the need to say it, because when he thought about it all over again, it was amazing the amount of loves he had for her. Because he never thought he'd love someone as much as he loved Alexis - but the last 5 years proved him how wrong his thought – and she deserved to know.

She fist her hand to his shirt. "Lv' you, too..and Alexis. Tell her. Don't make her like me."

He shook his head. "No, you will tell her yourself when you get out from here."

* * *

**_Author Note: I know, I know. I don't know how I could post this fast either. Sorry for the grammatical errors, anyway. And reviews will stop me from shaking too much - I'm getting my national exams results tomorrow! _**


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